The biggest and most important holiday of the year is almost upon us, and I don’t mean Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving or any of those other insignificant little fetes. I mean, of course, the Super Bowl, set to kick off at 6:30 p.m. this Sunday, when millions of Americans of all colors, faiths and creeds will gather together and screw themselves into their couches to worship at the First Church of the Prolate Spheroid Pig Bladder, the Right Rev. Tom Brady presiding.

Oceans of beer, vast lakes of guacamole and enough chicken wings to render the species flightless for the next 10,000 years will be consumed that day. But if you’re hungry for something a bit less, well. . . predictable, then several of our fine dining establishments are here to help.

At Russell’s Blue Water Grill (2450 PGA Blvd., Palm Beach Gardens, 561/318-6344), they’ll be battling it out on your plate as well as on a pair of TV screens. An a la carte menu will offer such Patriot-ic fare as New England clam chowder, lobster roll and whole belly fried Ipswich clams to compete with Giant dishes like Manhattan clam chowder, Coney Island hot dog and the inevitable Buffalo chicken wings.

Grease Burger Bar (213 Clematis St., West Palm Beach, 561/651-1075) will be dishing their signature burgers ‘n’ beer, along with specials like five-bottle buckets of beer for $12 (domestic) and $16 (imported), buck-fifty sliders and 50-cent wings. Oh, and free Jello shots when either team scores, which you can watch on more than a dozen flat-screen TVs.

Boca’s Spin Ultra Lounge (346 Plaza Real, Mizner Park, 561/361-3999) will have 10 televisions tuned to the Holy Rumble, and along with a roster of New England and New York-themed dishes will also serve $1 wings, five brewskis for $15 and $5 well drinks. And the first 100 revelers will get the chance pick a square on Spin’s Superbowl board and win some real moola.

If you’re in the mood for a more white tablecloth evening of screaming at the TV, Philippe by Philippe Chow (200 E. Palmetto Park Rd., Boca Raton, 561/393-4666) is offering a three-course, $39 prix fixe menu to be served in the restaurant’s private wine room. No nachos and chicken wings but lobster rolls and Beijing-style chicken. Fight fiercely team; please pass the Chablis.

And if none of those floats your boat, at Delray’s Deck 84 (840 E. Atlantic Ave., 561/665-8484) they really will float your boat. Or more to the point, the uber-posh Lady Atlantic yacht, which will dock at the waterfront eatery and serve as Party Central with live music, free cocktails and, duh. . . lots of big-screen TVs. Tickets are $65 in advance, $75 at the door and you can get ‘em at www.prepandsports.org or at The Lady Atlantic at 561/243-0686.