I’ve been seeing someone for two months, and I feel everything is going well. I recently brought him home to meet my parents, and now I think it’s appropriate for me to meet his. But he hasn’t so much as hinted at it. They live only a few minutes away in Delray. What gives? —From Natalie
Whoa, Natalie! Let’s go back and put the horse in front of the cart, shall we? At two months you are just getting to know each other. My guess is that you still jump up to brush your teeth before you give him a good morning kiss. Relationships don’t get serious until you can kiss him with morning breath and know that neither of you care!
All joking aside, I think the issue here is not that you are really interested in meeting his parents but rather the significance of it. If he introduces you to the parents, it must be love, right? Maybe, but just because it hasn’t happened, don’t count love out. Women tend to move things along much faster than men. And we are classic over-thinkers. If the relationship is going well, let it continue to develop. Whatever you do, do not push a parent meet-and-greet. Don’t even bring it up. When he’s ready to introduce you to the folks, it will happen.
My boyfriend is attentive and funny and confident—and perfect for me in every way ... except one. He can’t stop looking at other women when we’re in public. He doesn’t even hide it. I’ve made little comments, but he laughs them off. Should I let this go, since he’s a home run in so many other areas? Or do I make a big deal about this one? —From Denise
Denise, all men look at women. It’s a side effect of testosterone. I’ve seen baby boys with pacifiers crane their necks to check out a great pair of legs! Men physically cannot divert their eyes from a beautiful woman. It’s the instinctual hunter mode they possess. This is a good thing. We want our men to be hunters.
However, there is a significant difference in a man who simply looks at the display case, and one that is compelled to try every free sample that is offered. Catch my drift? If your man is a home run as you say, and this is his only flaw, let him look all he wants. In fact, you should play reverse psychology and point out beautiful women before he even spies them. It shows that you aren’t threatened and extremely confident. He’s not going home with them. He’s going home with you.
I am self conscious about my appearance and body. Does this effect how men perceive me when I am out? How can I overcome my insecurities? —From Haley
Haley, confidence is everything when it comes to sex appeal. I am always drawn to the most confident man in the room, no matter what his appearance. The same goes for the opposite sex. Men absolutely notice when you are self-conscious about the way you look—or, actually, they don’t notice you at all.
We all have little insecurities about our bodies and appearance. The key is getting past those and learning to play to what is working for you. Do you have great hair? Sexy curves? Amazing smile? Use them to your advantage! Make him notice your strengths, not any perceived weaknesses.
Most of all just have fun. Going out needs to be about an enjoyable evening rather than making the focus how a man perceives you. Lighten up on yourself! You must believe that any man would be lucky to have you. Radiate sexiness from the inside out. Men will take notice. And if all else fails, put on a wicked pair of heels. I’ve never felt frumpy or self-conscious in a 5-inch stiletto.
About Angela Lutin
Angela Lutin has won the adoration and loyalty of her riders at Flywheel Sports in Boca, where she has emerged as the most sought-after indoor cycling instructors in South Florida. In her spare time, the divorced single mom has launched a popular dating blog—essentiallyangela.com—on which she dispenses musings on life, navigating the singles scene and much more. Angela will answer your dating questions every Thursday at bocamag.com on her “The Naked Truth” blog, which she is doing exclusively for Boca Raton magazine. “A chef is the expert on food, a stylist knows the right clothes,” she says. “And me? I'm the one you come to for questions about love, sex, and relationships. I’m certainly experimenting to find the right formula every day.”