Angela, I have an angora sweater fetish—just like [B-movie] director Ed Wood. I wear them in the privacy of my home; they make me feel sexy. After a recent divorce, I’m starting to date again. When should I bring this up? Should I let a woman know right up front, or wait until the relationship is further along? -- Sweater Man
Sweater Man, your fondness for mohair is your business…for now. Divulging this information outside of a serious relationship only compromises your privacy. When you do meet someone that you feel comfortable enough with to share what could be considered a slightly unusual fetish, be prepared for the questions that will go along with this revelation.
I did some research and learned you are not alone in your love for the fuzzy stuff. In fact, there are many chat groups dedicated to those who get pleasure from angora. You should check them out. Perhaps you can find a woman that shares your fetish. Wouldn’t that be a match made in sweater heaven?
Hi Angela, I appreciated your response to a young woman last week about moving in with her boyfriend, and felt a twinge in my chest when I read your insightful advice that men usually view moving in together as a way to postpone marriage. I am a bit older than Gillian and have recently started talking with my partner about moving in together. I am looking to marry this man and begin a family. Am I setting myself up for disappointment? -- Jessica
Jessica, moving in without a contract (i.e. engagement ring with a date set for a wedding) ensures disappointment in your case. Or, at the very least, considerable angst and time spent in limbo. If you want to start a family and get married, do not consolidate households until you are both 100% committed to merging lives “until death do us part.” When you cohabitate, your leverage to walk away dramatically decreases.
Tell him that in order to seriously discuss the next step of moving in together, you must also discuss what that ultimately entails for you as a couple.
No ring, no moving in. Stick to your guns.
I am getting married in four months and just wanted to know what advice you have for a bride-to-be! -- Something New
I’ve spent hundreds of hours interviewing single, married, and divorced men and women in my quest to determine what makes or breaks relationships. Time and again, the same key elements emerge in successful long-term partnership.
Men are simple. They don’t require much. But, often times we neglect their basic needs as our lives get busy with career, family, and a hectic daily life.
Want to stay happily married? Here are the three most important things as a wife you can do:
• Feed him. Whether you are a talented cook that orchestrates elaborate meals or you order in every night, make sure he has something besides an empty refrigerator when he comes home.
• Make him feel like a man. This means that regardless of the roles you play in the relationship, never take for granted that he is the man. Cater to his testosterone and his ego. It might seem counterintuitive but men actually crave affection and attention more than their female counterparts. When he walks in the door from work, the dog should not be the only one to greet him. Let him know he is appreciated. Every divorced man or unhappily married man I have interviewed says the same thing. They didn’t feel appreciated or made a priority by their spouse.
• Whatever you do, have sex. Lots of it. Partners that have sex frequently (3-4 times a week) do not get divorced. It’s basic math. Men think about sex every 7 seconds. If he’s not having sex with you, eventually he will have sex somewhere else.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between.
Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine.