So everyone has been reading/talking/complaining/fantasizing about this “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy. I don’t know if you’ve read it, but I’ve definitely been doing the last thing I mentioned. I’d love to add a little leather into the mix of things, but I don’t want to come out of the bathroom and have my boyfriend run for the door. --Rachael
Rachael, I would say the majority of boyfriends would certainly be agreeable to adding a little extra play to bedroom activities. It doesn’t matter if it’s leather or lace; if it makes your feel sexy, they are all for it.
If you are not comfortable bringing up the conversation or feel that spoils the fantasy, why don’t you send him a picture of what exactly it is that turns you on? No, I don’t mean one of yourself tied to the bedpost (you know my thoughts on indiscreet pictures floating around), but rather one of a multitude of artistic photographs you can find on the web that indicate what you have in mine with the simple message of: “I’m thinking of picking this up for us. Interested?”
He will be running for the door…the door that gets him to you the fastest.
I liked your “activities to avoid.” Do you have any other dating don’ts that could save relationships from certain doom? -- Tim
Tim, I recently weighed in on an article titled, 7 Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble. (You can read the article here.)
All of those activities are definite red flags of impending trouble.
In addition, I encourage women to “think like a man” when dealing with their partner and I tell men to “think like the woman” in their life. Women are inherently more connected to our emotions. If you forget our anniversary, or don’t call us when you said you would, it does affect us.
The biggest dating don’t? Don’t treat us like you would your male friends. We are not your buddy; we are the very feminine counterpart in your life. And probably the one you would like to see naked in the near future. I doubt you have that kind of interest in your friends. Please don’t relate to us the same.
When a man calls me “Dude”, I know the gig is up.
Hi Angela, I make slightly more money than my boyfriend. Is it ok to expect him to still pay for all of our dates? -- Nikole
Nikole, it’s important in the dynamic of a relationship for the male to take the lead. This includes financially. There is a sense of responsibility created by doing this that allows him to take on the role of provider. You want to establish this from the very beginning of the relationship.
However, now that you are dating exclusively, don’t expect your boyfriend to always be the one giving financially and you receiving. For every 3-4 times he takes you to dinner or buys a gift, you should reciprocate. Never try to outspend or outdo him. Pick up the check at lunch or get him a small gift every now and then. It’s the courtesy he will appreciate.
Always, always be gracious for anything he does or buys you. This solidifies his responsibility to provide not to mention, it’s the right thing to do.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.