My boyfriend and I are currently doing long distance between Colorado and Florida. We fly out in both directions to meet each other at least once every two months, but whenever we meet up, the first day or two feels awkward or stiff. When we only have a few precious days to be with each other, this seems like lost time. How can I make the transition smoother? ---Dana
Dana, my first recommendation would be to see each other more often. When going longer than 3 weeks without physical contact, we become autonomous and a relationship on these terms becomes harder to justify. This is why it seems strange when you do see each other. You memory needs time to access your couple state again.
But, if it’s not possible to up the frequency of your visits, in the week prior to seeing each other, you should spend more time talking, texting, and interacting via Skype. I know this seems counterintuitive since your visit is just days away, but building anticipation is the goal. Texting a picture of sexy new undies you bought specifically for his arrival, or a shot of your favorite romantic spot will get both of you back in the mindset of coupledom before the plane arrives.
Because there is less face time in a long distance relationship, communication is vital. Have you talked to your partner about the awkwardness of those first 48 hours when you reunite? Plenty of honest communication, increased “visual foreplay” in the week leading up to your visit, and more frequently scheduled visits are the key to not only making your LDR last, but also making the best of every moment you have together.
My younger sister had been seeing a great guy for two and a half years and he recently chatted with me about marrying her. In his mind and heart, she is the woman for him. I know, however, that while my younger sibling loves him, she does not see herself settling down with him. I am planning on telling her that she needs to have a big talk with him that will probably result in a big decision, but I’m looking for some eloquent words of advice to share. Hoping you have some... ---Sasha
Sasha, all you can do is speak to your sister from your heart. Let her know that if she doesn’t see forever with someone who does, then it’s only fair to be honest with him. Don’t rule out your sister changing her mind though. Sometimes the thought of losing a good thing makes us all come to our senses.
My girlfriend is beautiful and sexy and is in great shape, but has convinced herself she needs to go on a diet and is barely eating anything. I want her to feel good about herself, but there is more to life than just eating lettuce. I think she is beautiful the way she is. ---Brent
Brent, thank you. When I initially read your letter, I thought, “Wow. Why can’t all men feel this way about their significant others?” A few short seconds later, I realized most men DO think the way you do. Once a guy falls in love, he truly does see past the exterior.
Women, by nature, are very self-critical. Just keep reaffirming how beautiful she is. It might take some time, but she will begin to see what you see. Self-confidence is far sexier than being five pounds thinner. True beauty can only come from within.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.