My childhood best friend just asked me out, and I said no. He’s really good-looking, talented and smart … but I’ve always had a hunch that he may be gay. Now he wants an explanation. If I do turn out to be right, I don’t want to be the person that forced him out of the closet – as a side note, I’m not the only one with a hunch – but I don’t want to lie to him about my reasoning either. What do I do?
Dear Guessing Game,
No one has the right to out anyone else as gay, bi-sexual or transgender...period. Particularly based on a hunch. You can give him the honest answer that you don’t feel any chemistry for him. You needn’t elaborate that the lack of chemistry is because you think he might be gay. Leave it as you aren’t a love match and better off as friends. While that answer might bruise his ego a bit, he’ll get over it and you.
Really “good-looking, talented, and smart” men are not easy to find. It’s pretty judgemental to turn down a date with a good catch based solely on unfounded suspicions regarding his sexuality.
And for the record, if he asked you out, he wouldn’t be gay. He’d be bisexual.
I’m not very adventurous when it comes to food, but my fiance’s family is all about trying anything and everything. The past few times we went out to dinner, I’ve held my breath and pretended to enjoy the dish they placed on my plate and said I just HAD to try. But I can’t do it anymore. – About to go vegetarian
Dear Almost Vegetarian,
What are they, the Food Gestapo? You don’t think enough of yourself and your opinions to voice your eating preferences? This is 2014. I’d dare say every family in America has a vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, lactose intolerant, or some other food exclusion member of their household. It won’t be the first time your fiance’s family has heard of someone who chooses not to eat meat.
The next time you are having dinner and something is offered that you have no interest in consuming, say these three simple words; “No, thank you.” Stop being such a pleaser. It’s going to be a really long marriage for you if you don’t learn to be honest about your feelings. Let’s just start with the food, shall we?
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About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, "The Naked Truth," appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.