Angela, I’m trying to establish some technology boundaries with my boyfriend. We are both terrible about texting/calling/checking emails/surfing You Tube on our cell phones and iPads all the time, so I’m trying to make a few rules, like no texting at dinner and cell phones on silent in the bedroom. My boyfriend is having a hard time keeping his phone out of arm’s reach. Help? —iSamantha
Samantha: Technology keep us connected to the world at all times. Unfortunately, the cost of this is our disconnection to those around us. Our phones, iPads, etc are now another appendage of our bodies! When my phone is not in my hand at all times, I feel like something is missing. I’m just as guilty as everyone else. So how do we turn it off—and turn on to the people around us?
I commend your “no texting at dinner” rule. But I would extend this to not even allowing the phone in the restaurant or dining room at home. Just put it away for one hour.
The second suggestion, (and this is a bit radical but very rewarding) is to eliminate all media from your bedroom altogether. Yes, that means phones, laptops, and even television. Bedrooms should be reserved for sleeping and sex. I recently moved and it was a good time to enforce this rule in my house as well. We only have access to technology in common areas. The phone rule has been harder to follow but I now set my phone to power down at 10 p.m. Any conversation that needs to occur after that can wait until morning.
Start slowly, removing one piece of technology at a time. After you see how much more peaceful your down time is without looking at your phone every ten seconds, it will be very easy to remove the remainder.
Angela, what are activities couples should absolutely avoid doing together? (So I can avoid potential disaster with my girlfriend) —Angel
Angel, here are three potentially disastrous dating situations for anyone:
Getting drunk. As in, completely “I’ve fallen and I can’t stand up” drunk. You understand the implications this could have on a couple just getting to know each other, but even for those in a relationship it has serious repercussions. She’s will definitely be resentful when she has to clean you up and nurse your hangover the next day.
Competitive Dates. If either of you have an ounce of competitiveness in your body, she will either do everything she can to beat you or you will show off and annihilate her at whatever the play entails. Either one does not bode well for you. She wins, you sulk. She loses, and she’s mad at you for playing to win. Both equal no love for you that night.
Strip Clubs. Taking your girl to see women do tricks on a pole that make us throw our backs out just watching them is not a good idea. I won’t even mention the clothing, or lack thereof. Save the nude theater for an outing with the boys.
Every time I get in a fight with my girlfriend, Angela, she gives me the silent treatment for hours. I hate it. How do I get her to chill out and talk it out? —Dan
I know this is going to sound absolutely crazy because as women we love nothing more than talking, but sometimes when we are angry or hurt, we just need to go dark and process the situation in our heads before breaking down the argument with you.
We will chill and we certainly want to talk about it, but give us a little time. That’s all. Take the opportunity to watch the game on DVR because it is not often you will have hours without us rattling on about our favorite reality show or what an amazing deal we got on shoes at the mall.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.