Angela, Someone on Facebook, who I don’t personally know but is mutually friends with some of my friends, messaged me about going out sometime. If I think he’s cute, should I go. What if he’s a serial killer! --Rachel
Rachel, everyone knows serial killers hang out on Twitter, not on Facebook…
In all seriousness, as a single woman, you should take the same precautions whether you are going out with a known acquaintance, a friend of a friend, or a complete stranger. Here are 4 safety tips you should know:
• Always make sure someone knows your plan for the evening.
• Add the Circle of Six app to your phone (this app send a group text with your location to 6 predetermined numbers alerting them you need help).
• Never leave your drink unattended until you get to know each other better.
• Meet in a public place. Don’t allow a first date to pick you up at home.
Once you know the ways to protect yourself, you can feel confident accepting a date with Mr. Facebook or anyone else that asks you out.
I really like this guy I’ve been seeing exclusively for the past few months but it seems like he is starting to play games. My friends think he might be seeing someone else, or is just looking to downplay our relationship. Two can play games, but I really like this guy so I don’t want to do that. What should I do? --MM
MM, what your friend’s think is not as important as what you think. Why don’t you just ask your boyfriend how he feels about the relationship rather than constructing an elaborate game of cat and mouse? That never has the desired effect.
My girlfriend of two years has been calling me “needy” and “controlling” because she recently wants to go out and drink all the time with her girlfriends. It’s not that I’m controlling. I am just not comfortable with her going out all the time, because I know how her friends act when they are out. I need advice on the best way to approach this situation in the least “controlling” way possible. --Todd
Todd, two years establishes enough relationship ground where certain “agreements” can and should be made. One of them is deciding what should be exclusive couple time and what should be friend time. I think every successful relationship needs some of both. There are 7 days/nights in a week. As a couple, decide how many should be spent together, how many solo, and how many with friends.
For example, if you’ve deemed Saturdays as date night, then unless it’s something unusual like a birthday celebration or bachelorette party, then no, she should not be ditching you for the girls. But I think you have to collectively decide what’s acceptable for your relationship. And when it’s time for friends, you too should be enjoying time with the boys. Don’t sit home wondering what she’s doing.
When you discuss this with her, make sure you don’t bring up her friends’ social behavior. Your girlfriend will get defensive and think you don’t trust her. That’s why she calls you “controlling”. But if she’s not willing to compromise and agree to spend a reasonable amount of time with her friends but certainly more time with you, (the one she’s in a relationship with), then I would tell you to re-evaluate why you want to be committed to someone who isn’t committed to you.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.