So I am crushing hard on my best friend’s brother. We have met up twice for drinks recently, and while I haven’t exactly lied to my best girl about it…I haven’t exactly gushed the details either. I feel like I’m in high school all over again, but worry the repercussions of the situation could far exceed simply not riding in the same limo to prom. Is this a red light or a green light? --Hand Check
Well, it certainly is not the optimal situation. Should something go awry, you could end up losing a love interest and a friend.
Before this budding romance goes any further, it’s best you come clean with your BFF. Let her know you have feelings for her brother and you’d like to explore it. While you don’t need her permission, it certainly will make life easier to have her blessing.
Make a commitment that, good or bad, you never spill details of your relationship with her ever. Blood will always be thicker than water. And if you hurt her brother or betray him, know now, you will lose your friend. So I’m giving you a yellow light on this one with a ton of caution tape wrapped around it.
Angela, how do you know if “the one” is in fact “THE ONE?” --Something Blue
There is no guarantee in life that the partner you choose will be “The One” forever. Why? Because you only have control over your devotion, your fidelity, your love…you must trust you’ve chosen a partner that shares your commitment to the bond. There is no script to follow, and life never goes as planned. Never. Inevitably there will be enormous challenges that shake the foundation of your union. The darkest days are where love for each other shines the brightest light. It is the reason bonds can survive tragedy, sickness, heartbreak, loss, and betrayal…
I will not lie to you. Sometimes the light goes dim, too dim for either to see, but I refuse to believe that once a light is kindled it ever really is extinguished. The embers always remain.
But what happens when despite every instinct, every effort, “The One” turns out to no longer be your “One”? Just as life gives us multiple chances at success, life also gives us multiple chances at love.
Trust your instinct. Honor your commitment. Love with an open heart. Do all of these each day and whatever you face, you can remain at peace with your choice.
My ex keeps texting me but I know through the joys of Facebook that she’s dating a new guy. She hasn’t mentioned this to me yet though. She ended our relationship a few months ago, but we have remained friendly, or flirty, depending on how you look at it. Should I call her out on stringing along two guys? --James
No, James, you don’t need to call her out on stringing you both along. You just need to stop allowing her to string YOU along. She’s clearly seeing someone new, but it feeds her ego to continue to have you interested. It’s very simple. Cut off communication with her. Do not play her game.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.