Dear Angela, I just moved in with my fiancee, and we're having an argument on whose furniture to use. What we don't use, we have to sell since we're forgoing the storage unit. What's a fair way to decide what to keep and what to ditch?
- Really attached to my stuff
This isn’t as much about “stuff” as it is about giving up some of your autonomy. You’re melding your lives with each other and, yes, that includes your possessions. It’s difficult to blend and share if you’ve been living independently.
If you can’t concur on whose dining table works best or which TV is the best model, you’re going to have to treat this like a draft situation. You pick one item to keep, then he keeps one items to keep etc. until you’ve completed the furnishing. The rest goes on craigslist. Simple and equitable.
P.S. Add a few new pieces you choose together so that everything in the house doesn’t feel like his or hers.
Dear Angela, My boyfriend is on a health kick and only eats healthy - no sweets and nothing with an ingredient label. I have no problem with that - except he makes me feel guilty when I don't eat his way. I know he's not doing it on purpose, but I want to let him know his guilt-trips bother me. How do I do it without sounding accusatory?
Tell him if he doesn’t like what you put into your body, then he should feel no need to come near your body.
No? Too harsh? Well, so is pushing your lifestyle on anyone else. Food is personal - just like politics, fashion and kink. The saying goes, “Have it YOUR way,” not “Have it the way someone else thinks you should.”
I don’t eat meat, but I’ve never once given a date a lecture about ordering the filet. It’s not my heart attack to deal with, it’s his. Same goes in your case.
I’m sure your boyfriend’s intentions are good, and he only wants what’s best for you both, but you need to tell him to pump the brakes on the constant Fitty McFit talk. It’s only going to make you want to bury yourself head-first in plate of cheese fries.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, "The Naked Truth," appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Ratonmagazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.