The odds are stacked against us when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions. Studies show that a mere 8 to 12 percent of resolutions survive the year, with upwards of 80 percent being abandoned by February. At least those of us who don’t make the two-week mark have Quitter’s Day to look forward to, the second Friday of January that serves as a soft reboot for the lofty ambitions with which we started the year. The reasons for our resolutions fizzling out so quickly vary—from setting the bar too high and hitting unforeseen challenges to simply losing interest.
Experts agree that going in with a plan is the most surefire way of staying committed to your goals. “There needs to be a plan, and you need to know how to execute it,” says Boca-based Life and Parenting Coach Elise Montgomerie, “and you also need to know what’s going to get in your way and what to do before that issue gets in your way.”
Studies suggest it takes 21 days for any new activity to become a habit, so getting over the hump of the first three weeks is of utmost importance. We chatted with experts in the fields of common New Year’s resolutions for more advice on keeping our promises, and how to cross the many roadblocks along the way.
Master of Budgets
Gaining control of personal finances is one of the most common New Year’s resolutions, and with inflation sending the cost of living through the roof, it’s never been a better time to get your finances in order. But while forming a reasonable budget looks great on paper, there’s always some new expense that comes up, whether it’s an emergency car repair or subscribing to your 10th streaming service. Fortunately, Intercoastal Wealth Planning Certified Financial Planner Elizabeth Bennett has some tips for making a budget and sticking to it.
“Set clear financial goals,” says Bennett. “You want to assess or review your current financial standing and take a snapshot of where you are.” Starting with getting a lock on the state of your finances is the crucial first step. Take inventory of every expense you make throughout the day, week and month. The next step is writing out your budget followed by the hard part, sticking to it. “If you can really do that and keep your spending contained, it’s a good way to help you manage your financial life,” says Bennett.
According to Bennett, an ideal budget spread should include 30 percent of gross monthly income going toward housing (including utilities, interest, homeowners insurance and property taxes), 25 percent going toward food and other necessities, 15 to 20 percent going to retirement and savings (preferably a high-yield savings account) for your emergency fund, and the rest (25 percent) used for discretionary spending (shopping, entertainment, etc.). But in times of economic turbulence, discretionary should be the first thing you’re cutting, which can be difficult. Bennett says to ask yourself, “what are some of the less expensive or free activities that you are able to do and take advantage of?”
Another way to cut expenses is to assess your monthly bills. “Some of those bills that are a fixed number, such as your cell phone bill or car insurance, call them and see if you can get a lower rate,” says Bennett. “There may be a plan that’s more economical for you.”
Bennett also suggests having someone in your life to help keep you accountable to your budget. “Sometimes it’s easier to go through it with someone else,” says Bennett. “Whether it’s a friend or your parent or a financial advisor, find somebody that can help you hold yourself accountable.”
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Cleaning Out Your Closet
Everyone has at least one item that has outlived its usefulness that they just refuse to part ways with despite all appeals to reason. The result is emotionally charged clutter taking up space where other items—or better yet, nothing at all—could rest. Whether it’s a pair of shoes with sentimental ties or that Rolodex full of numbers you’ve already programmed into your cellphone, local decluttering expert Bracha Hurwitz, owner of home organizing company Clear Co Florida, has some tips for getting rid of things around the house which are no longer serving you.
“The most important thing is taking on really small doable actions,” says Hurwitz. “Start with a single drawer or a single shelf or a single closet and give yourself a time limit of the maximum amount of time you’ll spend on it.”
As a professional organizer, Hurwitz understands the emotional value some items may have to their owners and urges would-be organizers to acknowledge that value but also appreciate an item in practical terms. “You loved it, it was amazing, you got good use out of it, and now it’s time to move on. You’ll get better use out of this space,” says Hurwitz. As for pricier clutter, Hurwitz advises to think about these items mathematically. “If you spent $1,000 on an item and used it for five years, that’s $200 a year; that’s a pretty good deal.”
Once the decluttering is done, then comes the next step: maintenance. “People forget that with organizing, you need to maintain,” says Hurwitz. “You’re not going to wash your dishes once and expect them to be clean forever.” Fortunately, the maintenance is much easier than the decluttering. “If you came into a new house that was filthy, then you gotta deep-clean it,” says Hurwitz. “But once it’s clean, mopping it every week is pretty doable.”
Hurwitz is always able to tell a noticeable difference in her clients after a deep decluttering. “It makes your life easier, saves time, builds a sense of peace—there’s so many benefits,” says Hurwitz. “You can spend your life focusing on what you love instead of focusing on organizing.”
Crunch Time
January 1 just might be the best day of the year for gyms. Memberships soar as people looking to shed those holiday pounds resolve to be more active in the new year. Unfortunately, those convictions wear thin by the time February rolls around, with one study revealing that nearly 50 percent of gym memberships get canceled after the first month. For advice on how to combat fitness fatigue, we reached out to Johnny Olsen, owner of Johnny O’s Gymnasium in Boca.
According to Olsen, the first step in any fitness journey is selecting the right gym. “Don’t join a gym because it’s around the corner from you,” says Olsen. “Join a gym that’s going to motivate you.” From there, he says, getting in shape is about three things: “hard work, sacrifice and discipline.”
To maintain discipline, Olsen advises to create calendar appointments in your phone dedicated to workout sessions. “When you have an appointment that’s in your calendar, you’re much more likely to follow up on that,” says Olsen. But this discipline needs to extend to the kitchen as well, he adds. “You cannot out-train a bad diet.”
For both exercise and diet, Olsen says that preparation is key. “When you eat good, when you train properly and when you do proper fat burning is when you’re going to be at your best.” That means meal prepping and going into the gym with a plan instead of just hopping on the first elliptical you see.
Because planning and executing an exercise regimen can be daunting, Olsen recommends using a personal trainer to get you started. “The trainer will talk to you about what you need to do and show you how to do it,” says Olsen. But the real work begins when it comes to maintaining your exercise routine, and for that, Olsen recommends vigilantly monitoring your progress.
“Progress is one calorie, it’s a half a mile an hour, it’s a half a pound more,” says Olsen. “And when you have progress and you can visually see it, you’re going to stick with your resolution.”
Make the Connection
The world has never been more connected, and people have never felt more alone. A recent Gallup poll found that an estimated 44 million Americans experience“significant loneliness,” and the United States Department of Health and Human Services has declared the country in the midst of an ongoing “loneliness epidemic,” the consequences of which affect both our physical and mental well-being. Studies show that those suffering from loneliness are at a 29-percent increased risk of heart disease; a 32-percent increased risk of stroke; and a 50-percent increased risk of developing dementia. We spoke with Dr. Robin Vallacher, director of the Dynamical Social Psychology Lab at Florida Atlantic University, to get a better idea of why forming connections is so difficult and how to take the first step in doing it.
“In today’s world, especially young people, with all the time spent on social media looking at their screens, they lost the usual sort of synchronous, nonverbal behaviors that occur in face-to-face interactions,” says Dr. Vallacher.
Putting down the phone is step one, but doing so is easier said than done. “What social media does, is it doesn’t always tell you what you want,” says Dr. Vallacher. “It gives you things you can’t look away from.” The addictiveness of social media isn’t a bug, either; it’s a feature. “The people who make the algorithms understand psychology and what hooks people.”
To limit screen time, Dr. Vallacher suggests making a positive goal rather than a negative one. “Rather than trying to say ‘don’t do this,’ think what you can do in very detailed terms, and it’s easier to regulate and control yourself,” says Dr. Vallacher. “Spend 15 minutes in the morning or 20 minutes in the afternoon; make a very detail-specific plan.”
Once the phone is cast aside, however, the real work begins. “Life is inherently awkward,” says Dr. Vallacher. “That fear of rejection is a very strong force,” one that requires a fair amount of courage to overcome. “You’ve got to take a risk and realize everyone’s in the same boat you are. People learn from failures and setbacks. … But until you get to that point where you’re willing to take a risk, you’re not going to improve.”
Breaking the Habit
Despite the outpouring over the last half century of research indicating that smoking is just about the worst thing you can do to your body, many of us still fall victim to the siren call of cigarettes. According to a 2021 survey from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 22 percent (more than 60 million) Americans reported using nicotine products in the past 30 days. Quitting smoking may not be easy, but George Van Wie, tobacco cessation coordinator at Everglades Area Health Education Center, has some tips for ditching the cigarettes for your New Year’s resolution.
“The first thing they have to do is decide they want to help themselves,” says Van Wie, and that “they have to change their mindset in terms of what their irrational beliefs are.” This means accepting that cigarettes aren’t the stress relievers we make them out to be. “People believe it helps them relax—it doesn’t—it’s a stimulant, so it kind of has the opposite effect,” says Van Wie, who recommends the same approach of mindset management when it comes to navigating nicotine withdrawal.
“The biggest belief people have is that they will automatically gain weight when they quit smoking,” says Van Wie, and while it’s true that your metabolism does slow down after quitting smoking, “the problem isn’t so much that people quit smoking and their metabolism slows down; it’s that they substitute [with food].” Van Wie suggests better management of caloric intake, as well as exercise, to avoid weight gain.
While there’s never been a better time to quit smoking due to a burgeoning field of therapeutics including acupuncture, hypnotism, prescription drugs and more, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. “Really the one thing it comes down to is intent,” says Van Wie. “If somebody wants to quit smoking, then chances are they can do it.”
Keeping the Promise
The key to successfully keeping your New Year’s resolution ultimately relies on the willingness to change. While the concept of a “new year” is attached to ideas of rebirth and new beginnings, it’s still up to you to make it happen. “The people who it’s going to stick with are the people who, on just a random Wednesday, started to make a change in their life,” says Elise Montgomerie, who urges people to find their “why,” their reason for wanting to change in the first place. A New Year’s resolution is nothing if not a promise we make to ourselves, which Montgomerie believes should be held sacred. “We find it easier to break promises to ourselves, but in reality that is the worst person that you can do that to,” says Montgomerie. “It shows the world how they can treat you.”
This article is from the January 2024 issue of Boca magazine. For more like this, click here to subscribe to the magazine.
