It’s been a long week. Here’s a short recap of what’s been making news lately in the Florida.
Miami—City of the Rude
The results are in, and to no one’s surprise, Miami has once again been named the rudest city in the country. The study, conducted by online language learning site Preply, gave Miami a 9.88 out of 10 on the rudeness scale, meaning the not-so-Magic City beat out Philadelphia for the No. 1 spot. Of Miami, the experts at Preply said there is a “lack of awareness in public, loudness in shared places, and rudeness to service staff members are just some of the behaviors that branded Miami, FL, as having the rudest residents”—all observations that are easily corroborated from spending more than five minutes in Brickell.
A win for Florida’s environment
Following immense public outcry, a proposal to develop part of Jonathan Dickinson State Park into golf courses has been shut down. During a statement made by Gov. Ron DeSantis on Wednesday regarding the controversy, the governor made sure we knew who the real bad guys here were and surprise—it’s the radical left. “A lot of that stuff was just half-baked and it was leaked to a left-wing group to try to create a narrative,” DeSantis said. Except it wasn’t. Far from being some left-wing conspiracy, the plans for the development of public parks into hotels, golf courses and pickleball courts were revealed by the Florida Department of Environmental Protection in an official public statement. At any rate, it’s nice to see the Florida state government listening to its constituents in at least one matter.
Ben Sasse loses his job, keeps his salary
A month after Ben Sasse announced his resignation from the post of president at the University of Florida, the Tampa Bay Times reports that even though he’s leaving office, he will retain his $1 million salary through 2028 thanks to a favorable severance agreement. Sasse will surely be missed by his friends and GOP allies, to whom he shelled out huge sums of university cash during his tenure. But just because Sasse resigned doesn’t mean he will be leaving the university. Instead, he will serve as a professor, president emeritus, and advisor to Board of Trustees Chairperson Mori Hosseini, another DeSantis ally. Because while working in higher education doesn’t guarantee job security, political cronyism always will.
Sloth fever comes to Florida
It seems like every couple months we get some new animal-themed virus to worry about. Earlier this year it was monkeypox, and now we’ve got sloth fever. The virus’s actual name is Oropouche, but who has time to learn how to pronounce that? Apparently dozens of visitors to Cuba this year have come back with the virus, which comes from the bites of mosquitoes and tiny “no-see-um” flies. Fortunately, the virus isn’t contagious and most people recover after a few days of flu-like symptoms like fever, headache, nausea, and vomiting. Nevertheless, the Centers for Disease Control has put Cuba under a travel health notice, urging visitors to take precautions against bug bites.
DeSantis appointee to Board of Education was once a rapper…and not a good one
After back-to-back failed bids for a second term on the Broward School Board, Daniel Foganholi has landed a cushy new gig on Florida’s Board of Education. And whatever qualifications that Foganholi brings to the job, it’s safe to say that his MC skills aren’t among them.
A report from Miami New Times reveals that before he was Daniel Foganholi, Board of Education Appointee, he went by “Daniel Van Gogh” and “Muleke Blk” during a mercifully short-lived hip-hop career. In a music video by his former band City of God, Foganholi raps about smoking weed and being good at sex, with a sound that could most charitably be described as noise.
