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If you’re going to watch football in this year of Dolphin Disasters, it’s best to do it someplace that offers easy access to plenty of strong drink.

One such establishment is Dirty Martini (11701 Lake Victoria Gardens Ave., 561/799-1115) in the resurgent Downtown at the Gardens mall. DM’s Monday Night Football package includes 14 flat-screen TVs spread throughout the indoor and outdoor space, where you can watch. . . you know, professionalfootball teams play while consuming $5 cocktails, $3 domestic beers and the usual roster of happy hour dining and drinking specials.

When it comes to dining, we’re not talking about the typical sports bar crud, but a menu designed by the prodigiously talented Roy Villacrusis, who’s come up with such pigskin comestibles as duck confit wontons, beef carpaccio with lobster and fried capers, and braised short ribs with boniato mash and foie gras demiglace.

Now I’m ready for some football.