It’s been a long week. Here’s a short recap of what’s been making news lately in Florida.
Dwayne Wade honored with statue…kind of
Miami Heat superstar Dwayne Wade was honored this week with the unveiling of a statue in his likeness(?) and the feedback has been…mixed at best. The statue, which will now greet (and likely terrify) guests as they enter the Kaseya Center for the Heat’s home games, was intended to depict Wade’s iconic “This is my house” celebration during the team’s 2009 win over the Chicago Bulls. Instead, it has been likened to Han Solo frozen in carbonite or a screaming Laurence Fishburne. If nothing else, the statue has produced plenty of laughs along with the firm lesson that if you’re ever to be immortalized in bronze, make sure to sign off on the statue before it’s made public.
A déjà vu nightmare
After being bitten by a shark this week, a surfer on Jupiter Beach says he feels lucky to be alive. And under normal circumstances, his luck would be indisputable—except it’s the same beach where he was bitten by a shark 11 years ago.
The surfer, Cole Taschman, says that the shark, which he estimated to be roughly seven or eight feet long, bit down on both of his feet at the same time. Fortunately, the shark lost interest and he was able to disengage and make his way back to shore where he was rushed to the hospital. Pictures show Taschman with bandaged feet giving the thumbs up from a hospital bed, and in one photo a tattoo can be seen on his ankle that says “Live by the sea, die by the sea,” so it’s safe to say Taschman won’t be deterred from returning to the Salt Life.
Taxpayer-funded spending spree against legal weed and abortion
On Tuesday, Americans have the unenviable task of once again selecting a new president, and Floridians specifically will vote on Amendments 3 and 4, which would legalize recreational marijuana and expand abortion access, respectively. And it looks like there’s a lot of pushback on each, though not from voters.
The resistance comes from ballot campaigns waged by Gov. Ron DeSantis, who has spent roughly $60 million to oppose both ballot measures—from taxpayer money. Despite the majority of Floridians being in favor of both amendments. Apparently when all else fails—like threatening TV stations that air pro-choice ads, launching a bogus fraud investigation, and trying to influence the state Supreme Court to not allow a measure on the ballot—the only thing left to do is wage a war nobody wants using their money.
A very DeSantis award
Speaking of Gov. DeSantis, a report by PEN America this week revealed that Florida had the most book bans in the country for the 2023-24 school year. The past school year saw more than 4,500 book banning cases in Florida schools, an increase of about 3,000 from the year before. The increase can likely be attributed to the fact that it takes a lot longer to actually read a book than it does to ban it, a fact of which we are constantly reminded. While it’s unlikely that the governor will receive any sort of official trophy for this dubious honor, if a statue ever is made, I know which sculptor I would recommend.
RFK Jr. recommends Florida Surgeon General for HHS role
It’s been stated by presidential candidate Donald Trump that he plans to put former presidential candidate and current Trump coattail rider Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in charge of the country’s health agencies—and it looks like RFK Jr. already has some thoughts on appointments.
This week, RFK Jr. recommended Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo for the post of Secretary of Health and Human Services. If the name sounds familiar, that’s because as Florida’s top health official, he told parents that it’s up to them if they want to send their unvaccinated children to school during a measles outbreak, among other things. One can only assume RFK Jr. recommended Ladapo because of the former presidential candidate’s own brush with a measles outbreak in Somalia where his advice likely contributed to the death of 83 people.
