It’s been a long week. Here’s a short recap of some fun Florida news stories.
Bat eviction notice
Do you have an unwelcome bat in your home? Is there such a thing as a welcome bat? Either way, you’ll finally be legally allowed to remove them starting on Aug. 15. Yes, in the Free State of Florida, we are legally barred from removing bats from our homes from April to August thanks to legislation that protects bats during their mating season. It makes sense; bats play a crucial role in our environment. Unfortunately, they make terrible tenants. Fortunately, their eviction date is coming up. You may be wondering how you remove a bat and the answer, presumably, is very carefully. Far be it from us to tell you how to get a bat out of your attic, but maybe leave it up to professional pest controllers.
Palm Beach County home prices reach a new high…again
Those looking to buy a house in Palm Beach County have had their dreams of home ownership dashed once again. The Palm Beach Post reported that home prices hit yet another record high for the month of June, with the median price sitting at an obscene $659,999—more than 5% higher than June 2023. It seems like as good a time as any to reiterate that Palm Beach County could have averted (or at least softened) its current housing crisis years ago, but instead chose to hand out favors to developers. The county is nowhere close to developing enough affordable housing to meet the need, but hey, at least we’ve got another luxury condo development being built in West Palm.
Cocaine scare
Speaking of gaudy condo highrises, West Palm is starting to look a lot more like Miami in more ways than one. This week, cocaine was found in the West Palm Beach council chamber, which prompted an evacuation of the building. Per the West Palm Fire Department, a man could be seen on a surveillance camera entering the chambers and leaving assorted belongings and a bag of then-unidentified white powder. Apparently, the man remains unidentified, but wherever he is, he can stop retracing his steps to find where he left his stash.
Book wars, continued
As Florida’s war on literacy continues, a federal judge has given permission for the Escambia County School Board to take the deposition of a 7-year-old student in a First Amendment lawsuit filed against the school board regarding book bans in the district. Despite arguments from the mother of the student, the court argued that a child providing a 90-minute deposition would not be “unduly burdensome.” Now, that’s a lot to unpack, but it’s worth taking a minute to appreciate the cognitive dissonance of a court in the “parental rights” state not taking into consideration a parent’s right to spare their child from a deposition. Also, anyone who can get a 7-year-old to sit for 90 minutes, we’d like some tips.
Florida’s population boom
Feeling crowded yet? Florida’s population reached an all-time high of 23 million residents this year, as more and more people flock to the Sunshine State from other parts of the country—meaning New York and California. The influx of new residents prompts a few obvious questions: Will they price out current residents? Yes, they will. Next. Will our state government make any meaningful strides toward meeting the demand for affordable housing? That depends on your definition of affordable. If you can afford a waterfront luxury condo, then yes, absolutely. And lastly, how much more New York do we really need in Florida? None. Absolutely none more.
