It’s been a long week. Here’s a short recap of some fun Florida news stories.
Welcome to the Free* State of Florida
Sometimes all you need in order to change people’s minds is a good slogan, and Florida has found its “taste the rainbow” in “The Free State of Florida,” a DeSantis-favorite term that now decorates the signage coming in and out of the state. Some of the freedoms that visitors to the Sunshine State can look forward to is the freedom to not give workers water breaks on hot days, swim in contaminated ocean water, and to read any book they want—as long as it’s not these. Those leaving the state will also notice a new sign urging them to “hurry back” to the “Free State of Florida”—and why would they not?
More freedom*!
Speaking of freedom, textbook authors were demanded to exercise their right to remove some references to “climate change” in their books or else the books will not be used in schools. Because freedom of speech is just as much about the right to speak as it is the right to not speak after being told not to. References that authors are being forced to freely choose to remove include calls to action for governments to make policy changes to address climate change. This makes sense because if you’re a government that is doing absolutely nothing to combat the effects of climate change, the last thing you want are students learning to hold you accountable.
Hawk Tuah comes to town
The viral sensation known as the “Hawk Tuah Girl” has made her way to South Florida, which is a sentence that reads like the fever dream of someone sitting in a room with a slow gas leak. Hawk Tuah, also known by her real name, Haliey Welch, became an overnight star when a video of her detailing a specific strategy of hers took the country by storm, leading to Hawk Tuah merchandise, calls for Hawk Tuah for president, and even Hawk Tuah tattoos. This past weekend, Tuah was paid $30,000 to make an appearance at Daer Dayclub in Hollywood, Florida. Yep, you read that right. It’s the kind of thing you read and then feel like such a sucker for getting an education and a job when what you should have been doing was practicing catch phrases.
The Great Python Hunt
The worst time of year to be a python in the Everglades is coming up. Florida’s Python Challenge, a yearly tradition where hunters take to the swamps to lethally remove invasive pythons from the environment, returns on Aug. 9. The challenge lasts for 10 days, during which time participants will compete for a $10,000 prize for removing the most pythons. To anyone outside of Florida, this challenge must sound absolutely insane. And it is. But at this point, “insane problems call for insane solutions” could be the Florida state motto, and pythons have long been a huge threat to wildlife in the Everglades. Python hunters can register here, and remember: no guns allowed.
Boca football player gets key to the city
A Boca Raton native is making his way to the NFL, and he’s taking the key to the city with him. This week, Michael Pratt was given the key to the city by Mayor Scott Singer, an honor bestowed only to those that have had a “profound, positive, and successful impact on the city.” After graduating from Deerfield Beach High School (he did his first three years at Boca High), Pratt played for Tulane, where he led the team to a Cotton Bowl victory. Now, he will be suiting up as the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, and Boca couldn’t be more proud.
