So this blog was intended to be our annual rundown of the plethora of music cruises—or “festivals at sea,” in the favored parlance—sailing from Miami and Fort Lauderdale over the next couple of months. Only this time, the festivals have sold out quicker than in any recent year.
From the Rock Boat to the Outlaw Country Cruise, from the Def Leppard Cruise, Soul Cruise and Jam Cruise to Parahoy! and Kid Rock’s Chillin’ the Most Cruise, all cabins have been spoken for, even the ones that cost an arm, a leg and your firstborn. But if you’re late to the party and still want to say “bon voyage” during the winter and spring cruising seasons, there are a few specialty boats still taking reservations, from a Patriots’ party boat to an inaugural ‘80s-music sojourn to a floating comedy festival.
Impractical Jokers Cruise
When: Jan. 11-15
Where: Miami to Cozumel
Cost: $500-$2,500
About: Stand-up comics who perform on cruise ships usually aren’t A-level acts—except on this laugh-heavy excursion hosted by the Tenderloins, the comedy troupe responsible for TruTV’s inspired hidden-camera series “Impractical Jokers.” Activities include a Lip-Sync Battle, a Q&A with the Tenderloins, a screening of “The Naked Gun,” and something called “Bacon and Bingo,” plus a few live bands, magicians and multiple sets from the standup luminaries listed below.
Lineup: Lisa Lampanelli (pictured), Gilbert Gottfried, Michael Ian Black, Dom Irrera, Steve Byrne, Owen Benjamin, Big Jay Oakerson and more.
Contact: impracticaljokerscruise.com
The Groove Cruise
When: Jan. 22-26
Where: Miami to Ocho Rios, Jamaica
Cost: $1,049 to $1,869
About: Promising 72-96 hours of nonstop dancing, this electrifying jaunt bills itself as the world’s largest floating dance music festival—a kind of aquatic appetizer for the landlocked Ultra Music Festival two months later. The 12th annual event will be partying in Jamaica for the first time, and 40 artists and DJs will perform on the 14-story Norwegian Pearl. The price includes an inclusive beach and waterfall party. Swing by a day early, on Jan. 21, for a pre-party on South Beach.
Lineup: Markus Schulz (pictured), Sander Van Doorn, Dean Mason, Sebjak, Dada Life, Project 46, DSK CHK, Darude, Dash Berlin, Kristina Sky and more
Contact: thegroovecruise.com
Gronk’s Party Ship
When: Feb. 19-22
Where: Miami to “Gronk’s Island” and Nassau
Cost: $900-$1,500
About: New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is the unlikely host of this three-night bender on the Norwegian Pearl, which fosters a party atmosphere reminiscent of spring breaks of yore. Expect plenty of debauched festivities and booty-shaking music on six stages, plus a special party Feb. 20 at “Gronk’s” private island on Great Stirrup Cay.
Lineup: Flo Rida (pictured), Redfoo, 3LAU, Waka Flocka Flame, Sammy Adams, Brooke Evers, Dante, Costa, Brazzabelle and more
Contact: gronkspartyship.com
The ‘80s Cruise
When: Feb. 28-March 6
Where: Fort Lauderdale to Turks & Caicos, San Juan, St. Thomas and Half Moon Cay
Cost: $925-$2,875
About: Flash back to the time of copious synthesizers and questionable wardrobes at this inaugural voyage that celebrates all things ‘80s. Pioneering MTV VJs Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman and Alan Hunter will host this SiriusXM-sponsored jaunt on the Holland America line, where some of the decade’s best pop acts will perform alongside curated ‘80s activities—including a vintage video game arcade, screenings of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “Pretty in Pink,” and gatherings ranging from a neon beach party and an ‘80s movie costume party to a vintage prom.
Lineup: Huey Lewis & the News (pictured), Richard Marx, Starship, Kool & the Gang, A Flock of Seagulls, Modern English, Naked Eyes, Tiffany, Wang Chung and more
Contact: the80scruise.com
