Dear Angela,
I want to join an online dating website but part of me feels like it’s a public admission of my dating failures. How do I get over that road block? – Dating since I was 15
Dear Serial Dater,
I’m not sure I follow your logic. Trying online dating is no different that going to a bar hoping to meet someone or asking a friend to set you up. It’s all putting yourself out there, in one form or another, hoping to meet someone you might be interested in getting to know better.
I don’t believe in failures with respect to dating. Sure, we’ve all looked back on past relationships and said, “What was I thinking?” But these are also lessons that taught us what we want, what we won’t put up with, and what we hope to never, ever see again as long as we live.
Stop making such a big deal out of this online dating situation. Remember, anyone who sees your profile is doing the same thing you are. No shame in that game!
Dear Angela,
My boyfriend recently lost his job when his company downsized. He had been so stressed out looking for jobs, so I told him to stop putting so much pressure on himself, thinking that would make things better. Instead, I come home to him – after a long day of work – sitting on the couch and watching TV … how do I tell him to get his act back together? – Biting my tongue
Dear Tongue-Tied,
You didn’t tell me if you are supporting you two for the time being. I’m assuming that’s the case because why else would you be frustrated with him, right? If he were still pulling his weight financially, it really wouldn’t matter if he sat home and watched Judge Joe Brown all day. It’s his life to waste, not yours. (I am in no way insinuating Judge Joe Brown is a waste of valuable time, btw.)
While some wallowing after a setback as such as sudden unemployment is to be expected, it is time you let him know, gently, that the gig is up. Collaboratively come up with a plan of action to have your man back with the working stiffs sooner than later. Being supporting while also giving constructive and giving helpful feedback will be much more productive that just yelling at him for being lazy.
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Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, “The Naked Truth,” appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s “Made” and Bravo’s hit show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.
